Aug 11, 2013

hello hello

 I have been back for 3 weeks until now, but i was too lazy to update my blog. haha. So what have I got from my 10 months of 'leave'?

1. Chinese is fun!
 yes, it is fun, learn new things, new language is fun. making new friends, it was a package of fun experience for real.

2. New things aren't that bad
I could not find any church with my mother language, the only choices that i got is: black-community church, chinese church, and not going to church at all. I absolutely can't live with the last option, and going to chinese church made me left church with confuseness -it's chinese!!'. So the only actual option left is getting down with the only international church available. the first time i came there, it was FULL by black people. Litterally full. i barely saw other skintone (I don't mean to be racist, i'm telling a story here). I saw one family that look exactly like Indonesian and i hurried-up-ly came toward them, saying 'HALO!'...they turns up to be Fillipinos. Long time past, i was holding myself to keep coming to the church, despite on whatever happened. My Indonesian friends gave up one by one, until one time, i pushed myself to go to church alone. It was realllyyyy hard at the beginning. I was build to be a sanguin, surround myself with peoples, and least possibility to be left alone. So i force myself to make friends with ANYONE. In the end, i made a good friendship with a African, who is a master-degree student in my school. We shared a lot things, my dreams as soon as i left shenyang, his dream to travel around, and it was a good friendship. 
More than that, I also let myself to open to events made by the church, but limited by time and laziness :p I was only able to join one event that was not a sermon. It was a valentine dinner themed 'single night'. I had quite a time there, but not so comfortable, but again, it was a whole new experience.

2.Choose your friends, don't let your friends choose you.
The more i grow up, i learnt that not everyone is good, surround yourself with good people. yes, you can choose who you want to make friends with.

3. Wrong is wrong, even when everyone is doing it. Right is right, even when nobody is doing it.
Enough said. 

4. Make your own bed
I used to do things on my own before i went to shenyang, but when i was in shenyang, i do more things on my own :D

5. Don't let yourself stick too tight 
Having friends are good, but never let yourself stick too much.

6. God is everywhere
There are times when i was at my lowest point there. It was winter, -30 C degrees, everyone was going back to their mainland. Cold and alone. My mind gone too far, thinking of how i have wasted my time here. or 'oh i should never came here'. but then, His hands are never too short to catch you. Please don't picture a giant hand come down from sky and try to grab me. His blessings shown through people around, who hug me, send me text message, told me how potential i am, the words in church, the 'ngena banget' daily bread, and so on. 

7. Be mature
in every choices i made, every 'fun' things i would like to taste there, i always keep myself think, 'will this do any good for you?' 'if you were parents, would you be happy to see your daughter do that?'. thinking too much? i don't think so. whatever that doesn't do any good to me, i won't do it. 

8. Be surprised
There are some people who i thought i would never be friend with, turns out to be the best person there. who would stay on the same straight line, when everyone going left and right :D 

9. Be even more surprised
You will know who you really are when you are out there. Alone. Cold. 

10. Respect, people
I was the kind of girl who doesn't like to keep in touch with someone. for me, friends for one time should be kept there. again, I was. as i mentioned (a lot) before, it was quite a hard time for me there, most of the times, i felt alone. but then, there comes some persons (out of my parents) who never give up on texting and hello-ing me. I am really really truly appreciate it. I was touched (that touchy feeling, made your heart squeezed and wants to cry at once) sooo deeply. You know who you are, miss(es) and mister(s)! I was asked, how many is your bestfriend is. It was difficult to tell, i would give 20 names. but now if i was asked the same questions, i would answer that easily, and one hand is enough.

11. Sometimes, alone is good.
Alone, riding bus, going somewhere, take a walk alone, put on/off my earphones, things i thought was pathetic and sad, turns out to be one of my best moment. I remembered some times i decided to jog alone, go to school's lake and water-painting there, go to church alone, those were some of my best times. There were some unspeakable peace. It was fun, i admit.

So those are what I learned at Shenyang. there are also things that i learned on my home-coming.

everyone changes. The bad things become good, the good things become better, some things came out worse, and some bad things went even worse. I was happy to know my sunday school is way better now. on my first service, I could see that the atmosphere is different, there are some pressures taken away. that's really good. on the other hand, i can see that the jokes is different, new people come, some people left, and adjusting never been easy. There come times I feel like 'sendiri di keramaian' as cheesy as it sounds, it is so much uncomfortable. Trying to sneak in is never easy. 

mind your own business. I was a 'kepo' person, whenever i saw someone need help, i always want to help them. but now, i learned my lesson. IF IT IS A LOVE OR COUPLE PROBLEM, LEFT ME OUT OF IT. Someone could really use you up, and left you with the mess. how-i-learned-my-mistakes. I learned to listen and leave. Don't listen and stay there, leave as soon as you can.

3. Enjoy your life.
I promised myself to travel at least twice a year, no cloth shopping for at least one year, create even 'cooler' alat peraga, appreciate friends more, and stay out of people's business. 

Banana is a grown up lady now~ 

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